By Ryan Rosado

If you ever talk with Simon Handelman, one of two things is going on. He is either giving you a lecture or he is telling you the funniest joke.  At times, yes, he will beat you up, in a nonphysical sense. At other times he will be kind hearted, a shoulder for anyone to lean on.

Since middle school Simon has been actively involved in Freeport theater program having been in several of the high school plays, including, Sun Light Doesn’t Touch, Chicago, Spamalot, and Letters at Sea.

Simon is a real talent on the stage and always finds a way to make the audience laugh and smile. Henry Jaques said the following about Simon, “Simon is just a joy to have on the stage, he brings true talent and helps make the theater department what it is.”

Simon has not only been the lead of multiple plays but has also done some directing, specifically on last year’s performance, which was amazing. Simon’s best contribution to the drama department was his role as Sir Robin. The audience couldn’t stop laughing after his performance, driving some to tears.

Simon is arguably one of, if not, the funniest people in the school. Last year, Simon did a live stand-up performance that focused on his life experiences. For example, “One time I swore at my mother. She said you’re dead to me.’  It’s been smooth sailing ever since.”

Like others, though, Simon has flaws. For instance, he can take jokes too far and be overly sarcastic to the point that you’ll believe he’s a jerk. Often you’ll think Simon is mad at you, though you don’t know why.

Trust me he is just messing around and trying to get a funny reaction. Believe me, Simon can be a huge pain, but it’s all in good heart. Simon admitted that he often misunderstands social interactions or misreads people’s faces. In truth, Simon is a goofball, a really intelligent goofball, but a goofball nonetheless.

When asked, Henry said the following about Simon, “In ten years I see Simon going to law school and after becoming a politician.”

Simon said that in 10 years he would like to be an intern at Capital Hill or running for an elected position, after which he compared himself to President George W. Bush saying, “We are both kind of from Texas but really from New England and neither of us are President at the moment.”

 Personally, I believe Simon is like Barack Obama, they are both very intelligent, funny, they set high expectations for themselves and others, and they mean well for others. At the end of the day, I have no doubt that Simon will reach his goals.

Simon is a joy to have around anywhere. When I first moved to Maine I had no friends, but after the first day of 5th grade, Simon made me feel welcome. Whether you’re in pain or depressed he will put a smile on your face, but if you’re feeling smart back off because he will smack you down.

I have learned after many times never to get into a political argument or debate with Simon. Even if Simon was arguing some ridiculous ideal he would beat anyone. In a way, Simon could be the next Trump because he could say and do anything and still win. He truly is a talent of FHS.

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